Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
