I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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