If i come over, it means nothing
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize