But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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