if you like me you must not know who I am
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
