I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
