I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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