I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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