There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
