Your dad touched me again.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
you never un-have a 4some
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize