I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
