I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
tell your sister to shave her snatch
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize