porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
