I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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