i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
