Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(304): View more from West Virginia

Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for

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(703): View more from Virginia

well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too

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(601): View more from Mississippi

Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.

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(504): View more from Louisiana

All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.

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(614): View more from Ohio

do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work

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(301): View more from Maryland

Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.

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(905): View more from Ontario

Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress

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