Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Randomize