dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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