My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize