yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Randomize
