So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
