I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Randomize
