Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Dignity is for republicans.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Randomize
