We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
