from now on my penis is your penis
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
