Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
this hospital has no fireball
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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