I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
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