I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
