Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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