Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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