Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
