So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize