they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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