the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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