It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
