So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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