I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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