So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
