The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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