Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
