I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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