Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
