I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
