Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
