Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
