i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
That reminds me...we need to get swords
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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