i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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