you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
