Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
a search helicopter?!
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
My liver just had a heart attack.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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