I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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