so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
