u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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