I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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