Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
