I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize
