Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
