i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
