How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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