we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
