i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize