the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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