You just made me feel so damn special
hell yes lets make some ravioli
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
