i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize