Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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