Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
