The brown eye won't let me do that either.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Princesses don't give blow jobs
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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