I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
