piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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