Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
