Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
