I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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