Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
