he thought i was a dude.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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