Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
