How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
