I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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