Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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