Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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