Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
