I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
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