things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
